Me No Quagga Me Quango

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Quagga here quango there. Here is the Western Cape region of South Africa we have lost one of our precious animals. I am not talking about stray dogs or absconding cats, I am talking about an animal gone for good, not to be seen again. The Quagga, was a subspecies of the Plains Zebra, and very similar in many ways. Except that the familiar black and white markings just covered the front of the animal and past the shoulders the strips disappeared into a brown coat. The animal was first classified in 1778 but by the late 1870's the last one was being shot just outside Cape Town. They were plundered for their meat, skins or to simply keep them from eating food earmarked for cattle and sheep. The very last one anywhere, a mare died in Amsterdam Zoo on the 12th August 1883.

A Quasi-Autonomous Non-Governmental Organisation, a quango to you and me, sadly has not suffered the same fate as the quagga. In fact they are doing very well and in the UK there are currently 1,162 of them employing over 700,000 people and costing every single household 2,550 quid a year, or over 64 billion pounds a year. So Gordon Brown seems to be doing his bit to keep people employed during these harsh times of cuts backs, even if these people are unelected, are unanswerable and often unskilled to do what they are asked to do, they set their own agenda and spend loads of money. Maybe it could be argued that its a fair cost to pay to keep so many in jobs, but that is only if its value for money.

In today’s atmosphere of going green, the UK has a quango called the Sustainable Energy Policy Advisory Board, sounds impressive and has that “save the planet” ring about it. Obviously the government put great store in this as it only employees one person and has no budget and no expenditure. Maybe its been created now, then mothballed for future use and will spring into life just as the planet is beyond saving.

Or what about the Hearing Aid Council, if you are deaf this could be the quango for you, but is it value for money? Firstly it only has 5 people so they perhaps struggle to make themselves heard; however they still manage to spend £1.1 million a year. EndFragment

StartFragmentThe UK is shedding jobs like a bunch of booze powered 18 to 30 holidaymakers shedding their clothes on a deserted Greek beach. In particular the ship building business is like the quagga, about to disappear forever, so you would think it's vitally important to have a quango to help out. So it is with some relief that I can tell you that the government is with us on this every step of the way and have established the British Shipbuilders quango. Hold on to the cheers for a moment, this quango employs no people and has no budget but very surprisingly has an expenditure of £9.5 million per year. That is better than the MP expenses racket; at least we could see who was wasting money there. Here there is nobody spending a great deal of taxpayers’ money.

No I think the only hope we have for all of this is that the quangos do the honorable thing and follow the Quagga into the history books, before someone shoves them there.EndFragment